Should you apologise for not emailing your list? I used to say yes. Now I say skip the ‘I’m sorry’ and send something useful, with no booty call energy.
Everyone’s guilty of it.
You build an email list, things get busy, and suddenly it’s been months.
In the dating world, I’m told that’s called ghosting. I’ve been married for 21 years, so I’m not really sure how it works.
But I do know how email works.
And for a long time, I told people to come back with a subject line that said “I’m sorry”.
I’ve changed my mind.
You shouldn’t apologise for not emailing your list. An apology makes your first email back about you, when it needs to be about her. Skip the “I’m sorry”, leave the sale for later and send something useful.
Good news: even a super cold list can come back to life. Here’s what I’d do now, and what I’d never do again.
Why shouldn’t you apologise for not emailing your list?
You shouldn’t apologise for not emailing your list because it turns your comeback into a story about you. Your reader doesn’t need your explanation. She needs a reason to open the next email.
That was the flaw in my old advice. I told people to explain that things had been crazy and that their readers were important.
It’s that Telstra line. Your call is important to us.
If you have to tell someone they’re important, you’ve already got a problem. Show her instead, by sending something that helps.
The exception is a real broken promise. If you took someone’s money or told them to expect something and it never arrived, say sorry directly to those people.
An ordinary quiet patch isn’t a crime. You don’t need to confess.
Why should you never open with a sale after going quiet?
Never come back to a quiet list with a sale, because it tells your reader you only turned up when you wanted something. I call this the booty call email. “Hi babe, sorry I haven’t called in ages, but do you want to come over?”
No.
A special offer as your first email back makes it about you. In my experience, you risk a poor response and a lot of unsubscribes.
This doesn’t mean you can never sell. It means you give her a reason to be glad you’re back first.
And yes, the “Hi babe” email counts even if it has a nice logo on it.
What should you send instead of an apology?
Send one useful thing, with a subject line about her world and an opening that gets straight to the point. That could be an article, a training or a resource.
- Write a subject line about her. Name something she cares about, not your absence.
- Get to the point. Say why this matters to her today.
- Give her something helpful. Send her to something that solves a real problem.
Here’s how that changes the email.
| Part of the email | Old way | Do this instead |
|---|---|---|
| Subject line | I’m sorry | Name the problem she has right now |
| Opening | “Things have been crazy” | “This is coming up, and here’s what to do” |
| Main content | Why you disappeared | One useful article, training or resource |
| Why it works | It asks for forgiveness | It gives her a reason to read |
Haven't Emailed Your List in Months? What to Say First
Do you need to create something new to re-engage your list?
No. You don’t need to create anything new to re-engage your list, because something you already have can do the job. An old article, training or blog post is fine if it still helps.
Your reader almost certainly hasn’t memorised your back catalogue.
Pick the piece that solves the problem she’s most likely to have right now. Update anything that’s out of date. Then send her to it.
That’s one less reason to put this off for another six months.
How can you tell if your email list is still alive?
Look at clicks and replies from your useful email, because they show who is still interested. That’s another reason to send a helpful resource. It gives people something to act on, and it shows you where your list really sits.
Don’t lean too hard on open rates. Apple’s Mail Privacy Protection makes it harder for senders to learn about a reader’s Mail activity.
A click or a reply is a much clearer sign that someone’s still there.
Some people will unsubscribe, and that’s fine. Google’s email sender guidelines tell senders to mail only people who want to hear from them, so an easy exit helps everyone.
This works on a super dead list and a lukewarm one. You’re not begging forgiveness. You’re giving people a good reason to stay.
FAQs: apologising to your email list
Q: Should I say sorry in my email subject line after a long break? A: No. A subject line like “I’m sorry” makes the email about your absence. Use the subject line to name something your reader cares about instead. Save a real apology for a real broken promise, and send it to the people affected.
Q: What do I say if I ghosted my email list? A: Don’t explain the gap at length. Open with why this email matters to her today, then link to something useful, such as an article, training or resource. If the break needs a mention, one plain sentence is plenty.
Q: Can I send a sale as my first email after a long break? A: I wouldn’t. A sale as your first email back tells your reader you only showed up because you wanted something. Send something useful first, then make your offer once she’s had a reason to be glad you’re back.
Q: Is it too late to re-engage a dead email list? A: Usually not, as long as you still have permission to email those people. Send something useful and watch for clicks and replies. Those responses will show you who is still interested, and who’s ready to leave.
So what do you do now?
Delete the “I’m sorry”. Don’t send the booty call. Find one useful thing and send it to the people who signed up to hear from you.
You don’t owe them an apology.
You owe them something worth reading.
And if you’d rather have someone write that comeback for you, that’s what I do. Emails That Sell gives you story-based emails written for you, so your list hears from you and enjoys it.
What’s the longest you’ve ghosted your list? Tell me in the comments. I won’t tell.
About Eve John: Eve John is a copywriter, story-based marketing strategist and the founder of Dauntlexx. She’s the author of three books and has worked with women in business since 2014.